I’m dead last in my office’s March Madness pool. I maintain that making my selections based solely which team’s mascot I liked better was the way to go. I took it just as seriously as everyone judging by actual statistics. Surprisingly, my most difficult decision was not wildcat vs. wildcat. It was badger vs. duck. I went with duck.

Next year, I’ll try making my selections based on results of mascot death matches. The winner will most likely be a bear or wildcat. Or maybe I’ll pick which mascots are more likely to haunt your dreams, which can only mean a Billiken victory: