I’m in a new neighborhood, so I’ve got a new collection of dudes yelling at me. Here are my favorites so far:

1. “Hey beauty queen, give me your number so I can call you later”

Because beauty queens usually wear cutoffs and hoodies, right?

2. “I wish I could get you to say yes to everything.”

I assume “everything” means anal. The answer is “no.”

3. “Hey pretty.”

Not exactly original. It’s only noteworthy because I’d underdressed to walk to the store. I was pulling my sweatshirt closer to my face to make up for my lack of scarf or hat and I was scrunching my face, making a noise like “Mergeaaaah.”