A few top ten lists

I’m restarting my old blog, Alpha Wolverine, as k.wolverine. So to start, I’m reposting the only two entries from my previous blog…

Maiden Voyage:

Top Ten things people have yelled at me while riding my bike in Brooklyn:

Since moving to Brooklyn, biking has become my main mode of transportation. I live in and commute to work through neighborhoods where the fellas just love to yell things at girls. Honorable mentions: Some orthodox jewish kids throwing rocks at my roommate and I as we rode to a party/ hey rider/ I like your bike.

10. “Hey mommy/beautiful/cutie!”

I know nothing screams sex appeal quite like my work pants that are two sizes too big and my super cool helmet, but it’s really great to get reassurance before 9am.

9. “Hey, wait, sexy!”

Sorry delivery truck driver, I had to get to Target and buy muffin pans.

8. “Watch it, Bike-O!”

I responded, “You watch it, walkie!”

7. “Hey I’ll take a ride.”

I’m not sure what he was gesturing at, but something tells me I’ve never been drunk enough to even consider taking it around the block.”

6. “Nice titties!”

No explanation needed, just a note that I either need to move or wear a trash bag when I go out.

5. “Heeeeey…you got something on your neck…you got somethin on your neck…I’m just joking…c’mon…”

I was waiting to cross the street and there was one other guy there. He was close enough to see the mole on my neck and remembered that girls really like it when strangers compliments on

4. “Move Bitch, get the f*** out the way!”

I did, even though their beater was in my lane.

3.”Awwww, take me witchoo!”

Oh yes, stranger of the daylight, hop into my basket and let’s ride off together along the JMZ tracks and get splashed with mysterious subway water, which will later cause us to have matching skin legions.

2. “You can do it, hipster!”

You’re right, I can stand on my pedals to travel up hills. Thank you for noticing. I’ve also gotten, “Pump those legs, girl!”

1. “You don’t like yourself very much, do you?”

I was riding toward traffic and as I passed a parked delivery truck and the driver quietly asked me about my self esteem from the window. I’ve also gotten “Are you f***ing retarded?” while riding toward traffic.

Reason #407 why my homestate rules:

I grew up in Oregon. While living there, I never developed any sort of loyalty or hardcore fandom to a college sports team. But I think this video converted me to being a Ducks fan.

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